If You Want Peace

If You Want Peace

Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi made a significant statement just five days before her passing away in the following circumstances: A crying devotee asked Holy Mother at her death bed what would happen after she had gone. Holy Mother answered, "Why do you fear? You have seen the Master, Sri Ramakrishna. But I tell you, if you want peace don't find fault with others, find fault with yourself. Just learn to make the whole world your own. No one is a stranger. The world is your own."

First of all she said not to fear as the devotee had seen Sri Ramakrishna, the Master. This means not only seeing the Master, but also understanding and following him. As we can also possess and view photos of Sri Ramakrishna and Holy Mother we should then have no fear, but unless we understand and try to follow the teachings of Sri Ramakrishna and Holy Mother there cannot be any real courage; we cannot get rid of fear.

Then Holy Mother tells us that if we want peace we should not find fault with others, we should find fault with ourselves and learn how to make the whole world our own.

Everyone wants peace. Holy Mother's prescription for peace is very simple. She does not ask us to do spiritual practice, meditation, japam (repetition of mantra) and rituals for long periods. She prescribes none of all that, but bids us not to find fault with others. Soon we find this is actually a most difficult thing.

If we make a self analysis, we see how many times a day we find fault with those with whom we live. A wife finds fault with her husband; a husband finds fault with his wife; mother-in-law finds fault with daughter-in-law and vice-versa; and children do the same thing with their parents; all the time we find faults with our neighbours, with colleagues and with others.

Sometimes we may not give went to our disapproval in order not to make our relationships strained, but the canker in the mind remains. So when we try to practice Holy Mother's instruction we find how difficult it is. And finding fault in ourselves is also difficult. We are inclined to glorify whatever little virtues we have and ignore our defects. And we use the opposite standards when we judge others. 

Why we have a natural tendency in finding faults with others? There are two main reasons: a spiritual reason and a psychological reason. 

Holy Mother said that Mahamaya, the great power of delusion, has given people such a nature that they do not find faults with themselves, but in others, so that people do not become liberated and the play of the world can continue. In fact if we should see our own faults we would try to rectify them ourselves.

By doing that in a serious way we would become pure. If we become pure, we become spiritual, and if we become spiritual, we then become realized. And this is what Mahamaya tries to prevent so that her play with the world can continue. This is the spiritual reason of our finding faults in others and not finding them with us.

The psychological reason is that we feel that we are superior to others. By finding defects in others we feel that we are free from such defects, or at least we are affected by them in a lesser way. So we now see that the root problem is our ego, which is the greatest obstacle in spiritual life and getting rid of this ego is so difficult.

There was a road side restaurant where many travelers would stop for eating; but at one point the number of customers started decreasing. After several unsuccessful attempts to improve the situation, the owner decided to consult a Zen Master who lived in the vicinity. He visited the Master and openly explained his problem. The Zen Master suggested that the name of the restaurant should be changed. The owner of the restaurant was surprised, but the Master explained that the new name of the restaurant should be "Six Stars Restaurant" though the signboard displaying this new name should display a logo of only five stars.

The owner was perplexed at such a suggestion, but the Master insisted to try his method and come back later to report the result. What happened was that many travelers passing by noticed the mistake in the restaurant sign and went into the restaurant to call the owner's attention to it. But once they were in the restaurant, they were so impressed by the nice way it was arranged and the pleasing smells that they would stay and order a meal. After a short time the restaurant's business soared again. This story is just one example about the human nature's inclination to point out the mistakes of others, which evidently speaks of one's ego.

Swami Vivekananda once indicated another psychological reason of such fault finding. He said that we see imperfections in others as we ourselves are imperfect. He gave this example: Suppose that a child is in a room where some money was left on a table. A thief enters the room and takes the money. The child will never think of that person as a thief, as the concept of stealing is not in the mind of the child. Such concept is there in the mind of an adult, but not in a child's mind. So Swamiji said that we should cry when we see imperfections in others, because as long as we see imperfections in others, it means that we also have imperfections in us.

How to get rid of this problem of fault finding so that we can get peace? First we should use discrimination, impressing again and again on our mind that finding faults in others is not good, it means degrading ourselves, narrowing ourselves. 

When we take some nice food we enjoy it. But if there is someone not eating, he then is not enjoying it. But in the case of fault finding both the person pointing out someone else's faults and the one listening to the criticism enjoy it. This is like a spicy sauce for the conversation.

But there is also a positive method to solve it, which consists in finding virtues and good things in others. This will not only elevate us, but it will help in elevating others as well. Great men always find the virtues in others and ignore their vices. It is thus we can help others to transform not the otherwise.

Once Sri Ramakrishna had sent one of his young devotees to Girish Chandra Gosh in order to ask him to purchase some candles for him. When the devotee reached the house of Girish in Kolkata, he found him intoxicated. Girish was very happy when the devotee told him that Sri Ramakrishna had requested some candles from him. But he expressed his happiness in using abusive language towards Sri Ramakrishna and that was the way he expressed his happiness. This saddened the devotee very much. Girish however had the candles purchased and given to the devotee, who returned to Dakshineswar to Sri Ramakrishna and complained about the behavior of Girish Chandra Gosh.

 Sri Ramakrishna asked his devotee if the verbal abuse by Girish was all he had done when the devotee had to admit that Girish had also prostrated himself several times in the direction of Dakshineswar, where Sri Ramakrishna lived. Sri Ramakrishna then pointed out to the devotee how he had reported the foul language used by Girish, but not his show of devotion and respect.

Flies often land on filth, but bees never do. They only alight on flower. Our ideal should be that we behave like the bee, not like a fly. It is a challenge for us how to find virtues and good aspects in others.

Here is a story about a monastery where five or six Catholic monks lived together but would not get along. Plenty of devotees used to visit the monastery at one time, but later the number of devotees started to decrease. The monks tried different ways to stop the decline in devotees, but none worked. 

So the abbot, the head of the monastery, went to the bishop and asked for advice, and at the same time he presented his complaints about the other monks pointing out the defects in each of them. The bishop listened and then he surprised the abbot by saying that a saint was there among the monks of his monastery.

The abbot returned to the monastery pondering the information received from the bishop and then reported it to his brother monks. Starting from that moment all the monks tried to find out who the saint among them was, and started seeing the virtues and good qualities of each brother monk, something they had completely ignored until then.

Since the incident the attitude of each monk towards one another changed completely and mutual respect and love started developing, completely changing the atmosphere of the monastery. And as a result of the changed atmosphere the devotees started pouring again to the monastery.

The very important meaning of this story is that if we try to see the good aspects of those who live near us, immediately our relationship with them will become better. In that way we can really love others. As Holy Mother says, just try to make the whole world your own, and you can do that by growing and practicing mutual love and respect. This is also a surest way to get peace and to give peace.