Embedded Files
Intense focus on स्वधर्म and जप and the spiritual mood.
Then the mind will not be free cycles to indulge in random thoughts.
An empty mind welcomes random thoughts which lead to random emotions, changes in the body and even random actions.
So, plan your day, work with intensity and total absorption.
Why should we remain a slave to random thoughts.
Realize and practice being different from both the body and the mind and a bit also about being different from the sense of ego (unripe ego - which says that it is not the Lord or Mother Kali who are looking after me and acting through me and making me go through the various experiences; but it is I who am the maker of my destiny etc.)
There are 10 different reasons as to why we should be unaffected, आत्माराम, unattached, forgiving, caring, loving.
And there are 10 different reasons as to why we should be affected, be wary of others, try to correct others, show are anger, wit, sarcasm.
Better to remain in the former frame of mind, mood.
With the correct reasoning, overcome the incorrect reasoning.
When loving forgiving thoughts are not easily arising, to remove thoughts related to other people whose behaviour has been affecting you in a negative way,
We can think of them as stones on our path.
The pain we feel when we strike a stone with our foot, has its benefits for us.
We become more alert regarding our path, where we are going.
At the same time, we are not angry with the stone.
Similar examples:
Fly on the horn of a bull.
Dogs barking at an elephant.
A drop of water’s effect on a mosquito vs its effect on a man.
People are as they are. They will sometimes be in their adult mind and sometimes be in their child mind. And they will oscillate. So, a person who misbehaves with you today will help you tomorrow. And a person who is helping with you today will misbehave with you tomorrow.
And even if our behaviour is perfect, even then others will oscillate between their parent mind and their child mind.
But, our behaviour has not been perfect.
In so many interactions within various offices, and with various family members, over the years, our behaviour has not been perfect.
We too have contributed to the discomfort and unhappiness of lots of people.
So, why should we, in our turn, not be patient and accepting and forgiving of others. We too have to give them some leeway to make mistakes and grow at their own pace.
We need to learn to be peaceful while seeing the imperfections both in others and in ourselves.
The better mindset is: I am ok, You are ok.
----
2 parts of the mind - parent and child.
All have this.
Try to spend more and more time in the parent.
Mature, wise, doing the right thing, patient, loving and caring and forgiving.
In self control and also in social interactions.
Others too will often times be overcome by the child mind. So, when others are in their child minds, not behaving in a generous and kind and polite manner, then we do not need to become the child mind with them. We need to stay in our parent mind and deal with them patiently and in a loving and caring and forgiving manner. Remembering that we too descend into and are overcome by the child mind sometimes. When others are in their child mind, this is the time when we need to be more careful, and if we were too in our child mind, we should become alert and ascend into our parent mind, so that the interaction becomes as smooth and constructive as possible.
Remain in our circle of influence.
What can we do.
Karmanye vadhikaraste.
Apart from that, regarding the results or how our life is proceeding, depend on the Lord/Guru.
The fire of excellence within.
To seek, to strive and to achieve, and not to yield.
If this fire is not there, if this yagya of mind control and trying to excel in our duties is not there ...
Then we are being tamasic, laid back, random.
Whatever way you think of, that is the way you will color the mind.
Think of good things, and your mind will become good. Think of negative things, and your mind will get filled up with negativity.
सार सार तो गहि रहे, थोता देही उड़ाय
The world, all people, everything, is a mixture of good and bad.
Everybody has love and intelligence and creativity; and everybody has pettiness and selfishness and anger.
Take what is good, and ignore what is useless for your growth and your contributions.
————
The opposite of finding faults is accepting the huge variety of people and their idiosyncracies and various quirks and imperfections.
Who is perfect?
And who can remain without troubling some people?
And who is without good qualities?
And who can remain without giving joy to some people?
So, accept all as they are.
We have our faults and imperfections and quirks and idiosyncracies too.
With our abrasiveness and lack of patience and shortness of temper, we too hurt people.
So, forgive others as we hope others will forgive us.
Accept all and focus on how to make life better for us and for others by training our mind, gaining skills and contributing to the welfare of all.
---
In the office, and with people in the office:
I am not here to teach or to correct or to rectify.
If I can help somebody, let me help. If I can contribute in some way, let me contribute.
My main focus is to be on me. My own skills, my own efficiency, my own contributions.
This is another thought pattern to help focus on what is important and to give up useless feelings of anger arising out of focusing on faults in others.
What about protecting myself from harm? From other people's bad talking about me?
Here, let us depend on the Lord who has taken so much care of me.
Let us not pick up the brick on our own.
He will take us along the experiences he thinks are good for our growth.
If you can help, help. Else, Hands Off!
---
Take a moment to introspect about the following.
When the Lord/Guru handles you with kid gloves, with kindness and patience and with lots of time to improve as you will at your own pace, meandering around ... then you blame the Lord/Guru for not being the "high grade" physician who will force medicine down the patient's throat.
And when they turn the heat up a bit to raise you out of decades of tamas, and decades of minimal mind control and training, and decades of an overblown unripe ego ... when you have some trouble because your salary is less, and people in the office do not respect your highness, and you cannot - in your freedom - have 2 hour lunches, and when low worthies do not employ you when you point out to them in interviews how small they are compared to you, and when people in the office point out to you that it is strange that you haven't learnt japanese even though you have been in Japan for 20 years ...
Then you say the Lord/Guru are not taking care!
The above is a bit strong ... Do not take it too much to heart!
We are all Sleepwalkers. Kathputliyan. Rising and Falling in the waves created by Mother Kali.
Depend on the Lord.
And work the best you can.
Try to be awake, pray to the Lord, avoid distractions, focus on work.
Be gentle, kind, forgiving to people. They too stumble innumerable times in innumerable dimensions, just like you.
====
it is very important to have the following characteristics associated with good students, if we want to learn japanese and some sql server etc. quickly:
passion, self confidence, will power, tenacity
concentration, focus, not thinking about useless things or wasting time in useless activities
discipline, regularity, everyday think of spending about 3h on japanese and about 2h on sql server, mainichi, mainichi
peace, emotional stability, these are needed for the above
study with an intention to memorize (with the minimum number of re-readings)
important to realize that multiple readings and some tests and quizzes are needed for deeper (nowhere near perfect!) understanding and memorisation.
have a plan of study (we cannot be random).
plan of study like the following:
1h kanji review (will include vocab too)
1h office emails (will include vocab too)
1h lesson / listening / grammar
-------------------
Whenever somebody is rude or selfish or petty with me,
it is a good exercise time for me to practice:
peace, joy, forgiveness, acceptance, being unattached and unaffected.
also, a time for introspection - maybe something in my behavior aroused that behavior in the other person.
in any case, this is a welcome opportunity to practice what we read about.
we need to observe ourselves, how the mind and body are being effected, what are the thoughts and emotions which are arising, and then control the mind and body to remain:
peaceful, joyful, forgiving, accepting, unattached and unaffected.
if simple ways are not effective in removing unwanted thoughts about others' behavior, use the following:
shake off others words just the way a water fowl shakes off water from its feathers.
these people are all dead people; stunted people; to be pitied; so, why worry about what they think about you. for them, this is their career and life, for us, we are on one of our lowest points in life; soon we will have better environments to work in with better people. just bear with these fools for the time being.
and when you are feeling more peaceful and kind and generous, similar characteristics in a milder tone can be used to be accepting and forgiving of others:
they are temporary phenomenon, they are unfortunate to be born in japan in these years and so do not have a well developed heart and relationships, they are poor in the sense that for them this is life, devoting themselves to their company is life for them, however uncomfortable or out of place they feel in a company or in this society, unlike us, they have limited scope for changing companies and nearly no scope for escaping from this society ... even their future and their children's future is bleak (unlike for us, where we can be very optimistic about our children's future; and even our own future). So, we ought to bear with them ... and help them in case we can help.
such people are actually a blessing, sent by our mother kali.
it is easy for people like us to be satisfied and then become somewhat tamasic in suboptimum places, thereby wasting our life.
there is the example of Vishnuji being supremely satisfied as a pig, lying in dirt; till Shivaji had to come.
even his entreaties did not work; then he had to kill the pig body.
so, for us too, when uncomfotable situations arise, they do so because easy comfortable hints are not working on us.
be thankful for the periodic wakeup calls.
(thankful to god, we can ignore the messenger, as he is acting out of his imperfections. we do not need to fall in love with the surgeon's knife. we can ignore the messenger. as long as we do not have -ve feelings towards him.).
manasyekat, vachasyekat, karmanyekat mahatmanam.
we want to behave in a civilized way with people (even when they are behaving in a non civilized way).
so, we should also think in a civilized way regarding them.
———
If you want peace, do not find faults with others.
सब कठपुतलियाँ हैं. माँ काली makes them move the way she wants to make them move.
At Banky Behari’s temple माँ शारदा prayed to the Deity: “O Lord, remove from me the habit of finding fault with others. May I never find fault with anybody!”
in later life one of the distinguishing features of her character was the complete absence of the fault-finding tendency. She maintained that this tendency only corrupted oneself without improving others.
In this whirlpool, this मायावी world of माँ काली, who is good and who is bad?
What happened to हृदय, who served श्रीरामकृष्ण so much?
Sister निवेदिता had differences with the मठ
So did स्वामी अभेदानंद
रामलाल lived with and served श्रीरामकृष्ण, and later was respected by स्वामी ब्रह्मानन्द, but contributed to lot of misery for माँ शारदा
So, with God within, immerse yourself in your duties. Have goodwill towards all, ignore their imperfections, talk to them politely.
My mother is like that. I am born of her. So, I can be like her.
----
Deep sense of peace, fearlessness, acceptance, wisdom, generosity, ठहराव.
1️⃣
I am in the perfect place, and I will make the most of it.
The current place and the the current people are perfect for my evolution in various dimensions - spiritual, intellectual, social emotional, financial, …
2️⃣
No event or person can move or shake me up.
minor superficial temporary flutters will be there till we practice rising above them for years.
3️⃣
A deep sense of doing our duty to help ourselves and others.
Not wasting any time in useless activities.
Rising above तमस and being established in सत्त्व.
Having good goals, and achieving them.
--
O Lord,
Make me a channel of thy peace
To rise above little things
So that in my life,
I may reveal some of the glory and wonder that has shone in the lives of the great men of the past.
--
Lord, make me a channel of thy peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather
to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
--
What do you want?
Are you working towards it daily?
. Spiritual evolution - (time for: meditation)
. Good physical health - (time for: exercise)
. A better job - (time for: applying, contacts, preparations)
. More income from a side job in the evenings and weekends - (time for: decide; start work)
. Long term career planning - (time for: some good courses and certifications)
. Better Japanese - (time for: kanji, grammar, office comprehension, kaiwa)
--
Everything can be done with the Lord at the center.
--
Do not give in to randomness.
This lack of control of the mind, and allowing it to do what it pleases, is the exact opposite of what we are trying to do while controlling the mind for spiritual evolution (and also for success in artha and kama).
We tend to let go and postpone our efforts to the next day, when we are feeling less energy.
Let us change our behavior to the following:
. rest for some time. and continue with our planned work after resting for some time.
. if the energy levels remain low for a long time, then continue with our planned work a bit slowly.
Walk slowly, but walk in the right direction.
--
When we think a bit deeply, the Lord has been protecting and taking care and making the environment conducive for our joys and for our spiritual evolution.
How can a man with no monetary ambitions, no wordly ambitions, no skill in manipulating people, actually full of negativity towards people and institutions ...
And with no skills in learning also - have severe adhd - had extreme difficulty and anxiety even in getting a sybase certification!
How can a man like this, come to Japan and even thrive here, making top money. at the same time, having loads of free time and not having to lie or to suck up to people?
And in this kind of laissez-faire and decadent environment, and with no decent self control, have not fallen off the cliff ...
And, when all scatter off, I stay on ...
And now, my son gets in UUIC.
He is taking so much loving care.
And when I walk close to the edge for some time (I don't fall, just walk close to the edge), I become angry with him for not taking care ...
I am walking on the edge regarding finances, regarding my self confidence while working in sub optimum places, ...
But these are real life experiences, which are needed to wake me up to concentrated efforts, to letting go of a toxic ego and being humble.
--
It is ego and desires and anger which cloud our understanding.
We cannot see correctly.
So, humility, renunciation of base pleasures, empathy and loving service towards others.
We always wanted to rise above pettiness and selfishness.
Now we have degraded to a level when we run for seats in a train before others (the train ride takes only 20m; after sitting the whole day).
--
humility does not mean being a door mat.
it does not mean that you debase yourself and think highly of others.
it is a realistic view of our place in the world.
we are as error prone and as perishable as the next person.
we have our imperfections.
so, in addition to having self confidence - which is needed to be able to make sustained concentrated effort towards a non trivial goal - we need to be humble too.
we need to acknowledge others too.
they too are as good as us and better than us in many respects.
but we do not need to swing to the other side and give too much respect to others.
they too are fallible and perishable.
so, appropriate amounts of respect for all.
--
Do not give too much value, and do not be moved by other people's opinions and judgements about us. Neither by their praise nor by their blame.
Praise often lulls us into complacency.
Blame often unleashes angry thoughts which burn us for days, and sometimes express themselves in rude behavior.
But we know ourselves better than them.
We know what we need to be doing for our improvement.
साधु ऐसा चाहिए जैसा सूप स्वभाव
सार सार तो गही रहे, थोथा देही उड़ाय
Give some thought to what others have to say. Then pick what is important and let go of what is not important.
--
I feel angry at Ishikawa (or Takeda) as he shows me the reality.
He doesn't let me doze comfortably in my tamasic pit.
He doesn't show respect to my self destructive arrogant ego.
He shows me my place. He doesn't talk respectfully (but is polite) and shows me the mirror.
Even though I think of myself to be intellectually superior, and richer (from my previous company);
He shows me that I am working, and have been working now for a few years at the lowest level.
He reminds me that even after these many years here, I am not a good enough SQL Server DBA.
And all these are true ...
So, I need to be thankful for that.
He is my broom ... or a messenger from my mother Kali.
--
On Revenge:
"I have never spoken of revenge, I have always spoken of strength.
Do we dream of revenging ourselves on this drop of sea-spray?
But it is a great thing to a mosquito!" ~ SV
Hakuin too.
People will act the way they will.
Help if you can.
Hiss if it gets too much and hissing is needed to raise them up from destructive behavior.
But do not be affected by others.
Be immersed in your own work.
Our mental space is the most valuable place we have.
Keep it for important things like work and love and growth.
If we think in terms of anger and revenge, they tend to grow and occupy larger and larger tracts of our mental space.
So, better to keep away from them.
Neutralise thoughs of anger and revenge
by thoughts of: empathy, understanding, wisdom, forgiveness, oneness, transience, good life experience for our growth.
I will speak ill of no man. But will speak all the good i know of everybody.
---------------------------------------------
Decide to always be at peace.
Accepting where mother Kali takes you.
If you think it is a bit tough, or you are low on patience, pray to Ramakrishna for help and strength.
Along with this peace, have goals to strive for, so that we grow continuously.
To seek, to strive to achieve, and not to yield.
Decide to have mature interactions with all.
I am ok, you are ok.
Empathy - try to see their point of view, their restraints, their background, where mother Kali is taking them.
Give all due respect. Do not need to overdo this.
Be unattached. Have good will towards others, but do not tightly couple your thoughts and moods to theirs.
Have your own swadharma defined. Flow along that with immersion and efficiency.
Why be superficially critical of anything?
We only waste our breath and time.
Focus your critical eye on places where due to that critical intelligence, you can contribute in making something better.
Else, it is just a petty way of feeling comfortable in our own imperfections, and in feeding our ego in feeling superior to others.
Do not criticize, condemn or complain.
Gentle, supple, able to bend and absorb stuff which comes your way.
Able to take punches without being affected.
As the ocean remains unpurturbed by all the rivers flowing into it.
Able to fail repeatedly without giving up on our goals, optimism, energy, focused action.
We will fail a hundred times more. So what. Repeated practise. Repeated rises after falls. This is the way all paths are.
Do not need to worry about imperfections and mistakes by yourself or by others.
We are all imperfect.
May the one without sin throw the first stone.
So, ignore any mistakes made by others.
Better to focus on yourself.
We have enough things to learn externally, and enough cleaning and housekeeping to do internally.
There are 2 parts within you.
The wise, mature part which wants to strive for spiritual evolution and become a saint by concentrating and focussing and giving up all the trivialities which do not help in that.
The child, random part which wants to hop randomly from one source of joy to another.
--------------------------------------------------
Do not be impulsive.
Before speaking or actiing, pause.
Pause and give some thought.
Then speak or act.
---
anger is as harmful as being drunk.
you lose your ability to discriminate, to see things clearly.
the judgement becomes clouded.
(usually anger arises when people interfere with our joys or sense of worth).
we do not gain from being angry.
(you can be stern when you want to help a person who is not being helped with gentleness; but in this case, the first pre-requisite is that you love that person a lot and want to help that person; and the second pre-requisite is that this sterness is only superficial, inside you feel love and forgiveness and harmony for the person.)
be a channel of peace.
if people are angry or vindictive or petty, then they are troubled.
help them if you can.
love them.
abou ben adhem.
we are all in this soup. this vortex of our mother Kali.
swing and bend and sway like a tree in a gale.
if somebody tries to punch you, gently try to dodge.
and in case you do get hit, improve your skills of being alert and dodgeful.
do not increase the imperfections and sorrows around you.
reach for purity and perfection within, and for love and gentleness and compassion without.
give love and due respect to people.
(dont need to mingle too much with people who do not vibrate with enough common frequencies).
-----------------------------------------------
slowly try to master your thoughts.
we will choose what to think, when.
we will not let the random thoughts which arise, control our thinking, behavior.
we are what we think.
the difference between us and the saints is in our thoughts.
these thoughts lead to more thoughts, and emotions, and speech and actions.
the battle ground is in the mind.
tapasya consists of controlling the mind and its thoughts.
which wolf will you feed?
wisdom is dwelling in the right thoughts.
right thoughts, right emotions, right speech, right actions.
---
i am ok, you are ok, all is ok.
the past was ok, the present is ok, the future will be ok.
accept things as they are.
all are temporary phenomenon.
neither the things which you like will remain.
nor the things which trouble you will remain.
all will disintegrate.
so, do not cling to things or do not be troubled by things.
have your center within.
with peace within, have goals aligned with your swadharma.
work with energy, concentration, efficiency.
and flow along with some wisdom and peace and joy and gratitude.
we have seen examples of people who have been peaceful, patient in the most trying of circumstances.
not only peaceful and patient, but actively involved in their circle of influcence. Also, forgiving and generous towards others.
example of serene helpful people in nazi camps.
yudhishthir and the pandavas in their various turbulent environments.
gandhiji. swami vivekananda. ramakrishna.
recenlty, very nice example of being positive and with a truncated ego in a not too respectful environment, was in the movie - the intern.
dont be a jackass. dont be a nuisance. dont have a huge ego.
have your self confidence, self respect.
and do your assigned work to the best of your ability.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Notes about Learning:
Om Shree Parmatmane Namah.
I tend to cover too many levels even in my first reading of a subject.
It obviously is better to make progress in stages.
In each stage, the understanding will be partial. As we advance to the next stages, our understanding will slowly deepen.
And in lots of knowledge areas, even when we are a world renowned authority, we will have big holes in our understanding.
That is the nature of knowledge. (For, to know a grain of sand fully, is to know everything …)
Because of this, if you do not understand some point, do not stop, do not wander around in other books to clarify it; accept it for the moment.
Do not skip even one day when you are in the middle of studying one level.
Once that level is done, you can (and actually for practical reasons, will have to) take long breaks before going to the next level.
During this "break period", it is important to review what we had studied periodically (weekly or monthly etc.); else we will lose our level.
So,
go step wise.
have patience.
have faith, that slowly your understanding will deepen.
have perseverance. There are many levels. And it takes time. Do not be fickle, do not get bored.
spread out this knowledge acquisition and deeping over multiple days, weeks, months, years. Give time to your brain to digest the info.
regularlity is important. Breaks are not good. Some breaks after we have reached or crossed a level are inevitable.
reviewing after some time so as to maintain our level and not slide back is important.
For, jQuery,
- read the pages on w3schools
- review them, and try to memorise the main points (maybe can make short notes to help in memorisation)
- next level - better to have this on the next day.
- read chapter on jQuery in the book
- enough for our current task.
- review after a week.
- after a (few) week(s), can study more about jQuery to go towards the next level (and to prevent slipping to lower level)
It has to be structured. Disciplined. Following the calendar.
Else, a lot of effort and time are wasted, and it remains a wish.
Make the calendar your friend.
—————
decide not to be angry with anyone, or to use inappropriate words with anyone.
we are all temporary phenomenon.
why not spend this little time with mental and verbal ahimsa.
and some goodwill, forgiveness, acceptance, love and service. people are different.
and by being angry or frustrated, we are losing our wisdom, peace, joy. we begin to give too much importance to temporary phenomenon.
decide not to look down on people.
do not look down on their current mental makeup, or to look down on their hopes, aspirations, joys.
money seems to be so important - even ramakrishna, vivekananda and other swamis sometimes lose patience due to inconveniences created by lack of money.
people are as deep as the ocean.
people are ancient beings, struggling, evolving in this whirlpool of Kali.
to practice both of the above, it is important to stop gossiping.
stop all loose thinking, loose judging, loose talking.
do not criticise people. do not complain about people.
“I tell you one thing — if you want peace, do not find fault with others.
Rather see your own faults. Learn to make the world your own.
No one is a stranger, my child; the whole world is your own.”
---
while studying or acquiring skills, it seems we can sometimes have 2 very different mindsets.
one - this is trivial for me. i can learn this skill in no time. (e.g., programming ruby, simple web development etc.)
two - this has too many details. i cannot find an appropriate book. i forget what i had learnt quickly. (e.g., andriod programming; complex web development; database admin etc.)
the first one if fine.
for the second one, use the following thoughts:
. patience is needed. complex things take time and sustained effort to learn even in a basic way. to master them takes years.
. daily sustained effort with concentration and memorisation and reviewing
. do not aim for a complete understanding on the first or even the fifth reading of a text. over the years, understanding deepens. and even after decades, there are things you do not understand.
---
always awake, aware, discriminating.
concentrate on your work.
when random thoughts arise, be aware of them, discriminate - either trash them, or note them for future reference.
---
for control of the mind, seems it is very important to remove or reduce randomness in our lives.
no more of - i feel like doing this, or i don't feel like doing this.
shreya over preya.
balanced, disciplined living.
there will be aspects of joy and relaxation too. dharma, artha, kama, moksha.
---
what do you want to do?
what do you want to achieve?
---
where is the self confidence?
where is the humility?
———————
Why move emotionally towards anger and other negative emotions triggered by others' behaviours?
Others behave according to their nature. Let me not bob up and down because of the varied natures of people whom I come in contact with.
If somebody does not show you due respect, that is the way that person is.
Note this about his nature, and continue with your work in a peaceful and joyful way.
(Joyful as we actually are blessed; and Joy which is spirit based, not external world based)
Note it as we should be aware of the natures of people whom we are interacting with.
And we need not take additional actions as usually it is not our responsibility to help train the person.
Even for people whom you think you should help improve, remember the nice advice about: observing them and waiting for the same unexpected behavior to repeat 3 times before trying to help them.
---
It is important to be able to work effectively with people of different natures.
We cannot continue to remain detached and cynical decade after decade.
Engage with people, learn to work effectively with them.
Realise that people have their own free will, have their own understandings, inclinations, backgrounds, fears, hopes, goals, ...
---
Being exactly logical and unattached is a near impossibility.
We will tend atleast somewhat towards either positivity or negativity.
So, always, try to bend towards the positive side.
Be a bit thankful, grateful towards all.
As, just the way we are enduring them, they too are enduring us.
---
Choices.
Thoughts. In our mind.
We can be bothered by how many floors the elevator will stop at.
And we can not be bothered by breaking our leg.
We choose what we are bothered by.
Life is a temporary phenomenon. Everything is destroyed. All that is dear to us and all that we dislike.
So, why be affected by this play of light and darkness etc. dualities?
See the fun! Infinite flames of the great painter ...
Relaxation Response + Working very hard with concentration and effectiveness.
-------------
If you see a hurdle, that hurdle is here to wake you up from your slumber. From confusion and inertia. Once you have Awaken and Arisen, you will see that the hurdle is no more a hurdle.
---
Do not be negative, condescending, a jackass.
Get down to work. Learn and contribute.
Social intelligence. Emotional intelligence.
If somebody behaves in a negative way, that is his problem, not yours. And all people have numerous pettinesses. Ignore these. All companies are imperfect. Get on with your work. Learning and contributing.
Have your own self respect. Show appropriate respect to others. And get down to some good learning and contributing.
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When such warm thoughts of loving and forgiving people come, I sometimes become over friendly and over open with people. When they behave in their usual calculating and petty ways, I get frustrated and angry. Be wise, socially intelligent. Have good feelings towards all. But realise that they have a bit of pettiness and randomness and selfishness in them and will behave in random ways. Do not be over friendly with one and all. Observe people. Have various levels of intimacy with various kinds of people.
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Try to understand the things which are going into the other person's way of thinking:
Logic, cultural defaults, pettiness, selfishness, ignorance, generosity, wisdom, ...
And then try to be generous to other people's faults as you are to your own. You are giving yourself decades to improve and fix even basic things like health, basic discipline. So, try to give other people their time too. And they have their own life.
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Step up your efficiency.
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It is now, today that we have to be all that we want to be.
Wisdom, ठहराव, peace, joy
The Ups and Downs will continue in this world of Maya. Unending waves which come one after the other. Light and Darkness. Day and Night. Climbing Mountains, and coming down slopes. This will keep on going on and on. And everybody, even the Avatars and Saints have to be patient and endure these. See the lives of Ram, Krishna, and others. They have their share of troubling circumstances.
Ramakrishna - father died; didn’t want to work; everybody called him crazy; broke his tooth, broke his hand; kicked in the stomach; humiliated by nephew so much that wanted to commit suicide; died after a prolonged painful cancer.
Vivekananda - father died; no work, no food even; humiliated innumerable times; various diseases of the body
Ma Sharada - poor family; crazy husband; humiliated by husband’s nephew; cannot meet husband for days; husband died; very trying circumstances; arthritis
Now is. Accept what is within and what is without.
Be optimistic about a better future as that is a better way of thinking than being pessimistic.
But realise we are in Maya and anything can happen. We may be diagnosed with a fatal disease, there may be an earthquake which destroys our house; our child can take a turn for the worse either mentally or physically or career wise; our parents will pass on in a few years … The list is endless.
साधु ये मुर्दों का गाँव
This is a place which is inherently intractable, bordering on randomness, and the only thing which is certain is dissolution and death.
These unending waves will keep on coming.
दो पल के जीवन से, एक उम्र चुरानी है
In the midst of this chaos and certain death
There is a technique of how to live.
That is spiritual wisdom. From the Gita and the Saints.
सार सार तो गाहि रहे, थोथा देही उड़ाय
Take the good and leave the bad.
Take a high stand. A spiritual stand. A wise stand.
Be detached, peaceful, slightly inclined towards positivity and joy and gratitude.
And work hard. Do not waste life in laziness and randomness.
Intense living. Relaxation.
There is a time to work hard and be intense. And a time to sleep and relax.
Accept all. Be at eternal, unshakable peace.
Decide to be generous to all people. They too have to bear with and navigate this world of Maya. And, they are most probably unaware of these deep spiritual insights which you can use for staying in the zone of wisdom and peace and detachment and some joy and gratitude. Remember Hakuin and Ramakrishna and Gandhi. Focus on what you want to accomplish. Do not waste time and energy in trying to mend others. Be kind and generous and ignore their shortcomings.
Do not give anybody the power to shake your sense of peace, wisdom, joy, gratitude. People are. I am. I will behave the way I choose to behave.
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What do you want? And what are you doing today to achieve your goals?
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The mind and the body have to be reconfigured, remade.
It is a grand undertaking. Need to be very focused, serious, working most of the time.
And the good part is that this remaking can be done in situ, in place.
अहिंसा
No desire to harm people, no desire to take revenge. Protect yourself, but do not strike back. No keeping of grudges in the mind. Being free from the negative emotional attachments to people with क्रोध, द्वेष. Do not hate people or reject people.
Affirmative Brahman: इशावास्यमिदम् सर्वं जगताम् जगत
क्रोध arises when we are discomforted, when somebody's actions take us out of our comfort zone.
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If anybody is being nasty and pointing our your mistakes, better to be grateful, thankful to that person.
We can be thankful, if we take the positives and leave the negatives.
The negatives to be left are letting anger arise in us, letting thoughts of superiority and disgust and hatred and revenge arise.
The positives are:
somebody is drinking the poison of nastiness; but the side-effect is good for you.
usually even our parents and brothers and friends and children do not point out our mistakes. even our Guru is so gentle.
so, over a period of time, we forget that we too make many mistakes.
pride and arrogance grow, and we feel superior to others. And this leads to complacency, lethargy, stopping of all exertion and growth.
So, this person who is pointing out our mistakes is doing us a great favour, a great service.
The way Kabir thanked a person who used to shout out his shortcomings. And even wept when that person passed away, saying that he was my broom who helped me to clean myself.
This is the first step, accepting and thanking people when they point out your mistakes.
This wakes you up from a self satisfied slumber, and makes you exert to purify yourself and grow yourself.
The next step will be what either Ramakrishna or Vivekananda said: Seek people who are critical of you. Go to places where they will criticise you.
We have noticed some Japanese emails where, when someone points out a mistake, they first apologise, and then thank the person for pointing it out!
Of course, we need to be analytical regarding the criticism coming our way.
Saar saar to gahi rahe, thotha dehi udaya.
The other person too has his own shortcomings due to which his judgement about your shortcoming which he is pointing out may not be correct.
So, take what is beneficial for you and ignore the rest.
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Get rid of tamas, goallessness, randomness, all forms of negativity.
Arise, Awake. Even in this world. For all this is Brahman too.
From dust to dust, was not spoken of the soul.
To seek, to strive, to achieve and not to yield.
This is the Karma Bhumi. Yoga Karmasu Kaushalam.
Let us learn well, gain expertise in various domains,
Make a career and/or companies, Earn enough to support ourselves and to help others
Accept your current situation.
Neither negatively, nor too positively.
We are. We have lots of positives. And a few negatives too.
From here, we will work our way upwards.
With concentrated, efficient, intelligent efforts, sharpen your saw in the following areas:
ability to memorise quicker and for longer periods of time
ability to extract the most important points from a given text
ability to learn the basics of a new branch of knowledge and become effective in it quicker
ability to remain emotionally stable while dealing with various kinds of people
ability to present your ideas in a coherent and intelligent and persuasive manner
Basic emotional intelligence, social wisdom, strength of mind:
Being able to ignore people you want to ignore. Do not think about them.
When you interact, be civil. Other than that, do not think about them.
Why waste a second of your life in thoughts about someone you do not care about?
(Same can be extended to social media and news).
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Be at peace.
Accept.
Accept the internal and external environment.
Accept that there are much more things that you do not know than which you know. Also, there are much more things which you have read, than which you remember.
Have confidence in your long technical experience and your technical abilities and your capacity to learn new things and to deliver.
Accept the fact that you will not get along perfectly with the people you work with.
Accept the fact that this is a temporary association with your co-workers, as it has been with students and workers since the last 45 years. This too shall pass.
Accept also the fact that we are under the protection and guidance of Ramakrishna and Medhasanandaji. And that whatever happens to us will in retrospect be realized to have been good for us.
So, Peace, Unattachment, Appropriate amount of Joy, Optimism, Positivity towards Life, Work, Efforts. Working with Intelligence and Practical Efficiency.
Practical Efficiency comes by having Goals and Attaching ourselves to the Topic and having a Good Study Plan and/or Good Delivery Plan. There should be a strong desire to become better in the Topic; and we should derive Joy as our Expertise increases. (If we are indifferent, or condescending towards the Topic or towards our external environment, it is obvious that we can neither become better in our Expertise, nor can we memorise, nor can we Contribute, nor can we be at Peace or Joy). For Swadharma, not negation by affirmation - All is Brahman.
For Growth in the external world - which too is necessary for our current situation - We again need to be Practically Efficient, Have Goals, Have positivity and attachment towards those goals, find joy in the progress we make.
Have Empathy, Sympathy for all. Life is not easy. It actually if very tough for most people.
We want to achieve the highest - Moksha - Total control of the mind.
But, it is important, vital, to go step wise.
This point has been the bane of our life in lots of areas. This, and being attracted to too many things. No narrow focus.
Basic Body and Mind Control.
We have very nice opportunities to do both in our current life.
For regaining health, we need to control our tongue, and the mind.
For working peacefully in the office, we again need to become wiser and control our tongue, and our mind. and our thoughts.
So, let the games begin. And we will be victorious. No matter how many times we slide back.
Continuity is important.
Every Day.
Also important for intra day peace of mind, and not deciding multiple times daily what we should think, say and do; what our goals should be.
चित्त वृत्ति निरोध
We have to remove the unnecessary thought and emotions which randomly keep on arising in the mind.
Freedom vs. Following Social Norms
It is a balance between the two.
Internally we can become freer by practicing non attachment etc.
But externally, we need to follow at least some basic social norms both inside the office and outside too.
So, we can have a समन्वय of showing respect and being free and having self respect.
We need to be wise and practically intelligent to judge from situations, interactions, people about what all to say and in which way to say.
It is never too good to be मुँहफट.
Talk in a respectful, restrained, wise manner with all.
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Truthfulness.
No hanky panky imaginations are necessary regarding grace and protection offered by beings you cannot perceive. You can have initial faith in that domain and start working towards progress in that domain (जप, holy company, यम, नियम, etc), but don't need to imagine things.
One important prerequisite of peace (and self confidence etc. associated positive emotions) is, always flowing along the direction of what we think is right according to our current understanding. Unless we do that, there will be cognitive dissonance and there will be no peace. For this, the following are important:
a good sense of what is right and what is wrong. So, values to live by
a good sense of relative importance of tasks. Some things are more important than others. So, prioritization is important.
basic control of mind. If we decide to do something, we should do it. No randomness or flip-flopping.
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Total absence of desire is laziness, तमस
Similarly, not utilizing your whole day towards achieving your goals is laziness.
The following desires are essential:
Desire to do my duty well (without being too moved by the getting or non getting of results of work)
Desire for God realisation, and doing related तपस्या
Also, desire to love and (forgive and accept and) serve all others
To seek, to strive, to achieve.
Not for selfishness, but to grow stronger, wiser and to be able to love and serve others.
To become better, fitter, more capable in all dimensions - physical, intellectual, emotional, social, financial.
To earn lots of money and use it in good works and service of people.
Achieving these goals, and this sense of self importance is important. Else life is wasted in randomness.
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Wisdom, ठहराव, peace, joy, love, gratitude,
Strength, energy, कर्मयोगी, practical efficiency
Control, training, cultivating of the mind
Oneness, sympathy, empathy, positive emotions, practical dealings
धर्म, अर्थ, काम, मोक्ष
Each soul is potentially divine.
The goal is to manifest this divinity by controlling nature, external and internal. Do this either by work, or worship, or psychic control, or philosophy - by one, or more, or all of these - and be free. This is the whole of religion. Doctrines, or dogmas, or rituals, or books, or temples, or forms, are but secondary details.
The obligations (ऋण) we have:
देव ऋण
पित्रि ऋण
ऋषि ऋण
+ obligations to: wife, children, relatives, friends, colleagues in office.
Be responsible for your own actions, life, skills, financial situation.
Stepwise, gradual growth.
Patience, perseverance.
Layers - Body, Mind, Intellect, Society, Finance
Short term goals, Long term goals.
Flow along.
(do not waste energy and time in multiple contradictory intraday thoughts about what we want to do)
Some भाव, basic mind sets are important.
A strong sense of what we are, what we want to be, how we will behave and act.
So, clarity and some fixedness related to character.
Predictability. That under such circumstances, I will behave in such a way.
This is tied with confidence in self. Basic clarity and basic mind control.
Not doubting always, and not thrashing between multiple contradictory understandings, thoughts and emotions, goals and tasks.
समन्वय of various understandings, inclinations, roles, goals, plans, tasks, actions.
Deep thinking. Alignment of various levels of our being.
No superficiality (except in times of fun and friendly banter and conversations).
Coming back to the center.
All of the above are the ideals we want to reach. When we attempt the modifications from our current setup, invariably we will stumble many times. Be patient. Return to the center, regain the भाव of wisdom as soon as you become aware that you have stumbled.
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